I didn't know how I was going to contain it all in so I texted one of my girls and the takeaways from our conversation are as follows:

1. We are all fighting our own battle.

2. We need to focus on the good in life.

3. I need to stop gaining and start running. 

I would have gone into details but I am really a whole lot of lazy right now. But the above is good enough to serve as a reminder when the going gets tough. 

Never want to feel like this again.

I've been a really horrible partner lately. I am so quick to pick on the flaws of my significant half and even throwing tantrums, some of which are really unnecessary. Didn't they say love is about accepting the good and bad of the person you are with? Clearly I have failed in that very aspect. 

I guess with time comes familiarity and in that familiarity comes comfort. When you get comfortable with somebody, you often take things for granted. In my case, not only have I gotten comfortable, I have become intolerant and impatient too. Whenever he acts in a manner that gets under my skin, I am so quick to feel antagonized.

With time too, comes dependency. I'm used to having him around and I have tweaked my whole life to revolve around him that the slightest idea of not having him to myself ticks me off. 

In a nutshell, you can call me completely vulnerable and possessive. But you see, that's not his fault and it is not right to treat him that way. Honestly the fault lies in my inability to get over myself. 

I feel utterly apologetic because he is a sweet soul and has been so accommodating to my demands and it has hurt him that I've been so nasty.

Such a lousy bibimbap I have been.