The first game is this Friday, 2nd of January, and I'm not ready. Not in the slightest bit. I'm so nervous, can? Like as though it's the first time I'm playing a game, well technically it IS my first time competing in IVP, hah.

On Sunday, I had my IVP (day) camp and it lasted for two days, slogging out under the scorching sun and growing many-many shades darker. This is the part I hate the most, getting burnt - as if I'm not dark enough eh eh eh. Well anyways, glad it's over now and last 2 weeks to go.
We. Can. Do. This!

Just like the previous year, the varsity team gets something from the coach and this year, it was a team jacket.

VARSITY TEAM!


Monday morning saw us at some random basketball court playing rugby. HAHA. It's funny because who the fuck plays touch rugby at a basketball court right? Well, the answer is us. This is the fate of a sport team that gets banned from using their own field. Sad right, my school sometimes comes up with retarded rules fyi.

The evening was spent over at Su's place for her 19th birthday. And I know I looked damn burntttt, huh.




Alright. I'm very excited about 2009, I don't know why.

Tough luck is when you can't wait to end work because you've eyed this pair of pants and you were gonna get them once you knocked off but due to popular demand, the pants are not in any of your size and the last they checked, the nearest outlet only has two pieces left and when you hurried over, you found to your dismay, that they were sold. MOTHER FUCKING CHEEBYE LAH.


And y'all can argue that I should have just reserved them, right right right. I would if the other outlet actually picks up the calls but they didn't and I guessed since the outlet was really nearby (technically it was only next block!), I could make a quick dash and get it before anybody else did, but oh wells.


And and and it's really saddening to realise after the whole mayhem... my favourite jeans which I was wearing by the way, has a hole! The hole is pretty obvious, fyi. WAH THIS ONE ANOTHER HEARTBREAKER.


I've outgrown most of my pants/shorts/skirts no thanks to my humongous thunder thighs!
=(((((


Butttt on the bright side of life, I met up with Rahil before work which was just perfect because I've not seen her since 2 weeks ago and we just talked and talked and talked. Too bad it was only so shortttttt because I had to leave for work. Nevertheless, it was still great! Whatever you're feeling now, hang in there. Repeat your life mantra - everything will be okay. Good times will roll your way soon. *gives Rahil a biiiiiig hug*

I'm having the mother of all headaches right now. I was perfectly fine until I walked out of the theatres. Oh yes, I've caught the movie "Yes Man" and it is fucking hilarious! Jim Carrey never fails to deliver and I've also brought home some inspirations from the movie. Sometimes it's all about the ability to put the past to rest, move on from it and open one self to life's myriad of possibilities and yes, opportunities do come in all forms, heh.


I managed to catch it with Rasydan. I've not talked nor seen him for months, not till just now, and I kid you not. I really am starting to believe there's no such thing as forever. Relationships turn sour, friendships die and passion, they just fade out. As much as change is a constant, I've always believed that if you truly make an effort into it, prolly things are gonna work out. Within these couple of months since I last saw him, so much have happened and it's kind of hard catching the facts as he fill me in with the on-goings. I feel bad because he's somebody I don't wish to lose touch but I've missed so much, I doubt I'll ever catch up but but but I'm not giving up, not throwing in the towel just yet :)


I got myself an organizer and I'm pretty determined to run my life, properly. Pray that it's not one of my taik ayam moments because I truly want to be a better, healthier and less messier person by the end of 2009.

A series of events went on these couple of days like how Wednesday saw me over at Adeq's crib with Gal, playing catch up and (well) doing what girls love to do - pictures! With donuts, chips and drinks in hand, we rolled over Adeq's bed back and forth, and got ourselves real comfortable =)




Training was such a killer on Thursday because only 7 people turned up and my coach gave us a earful which made me peeved at certain individuals because if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have to resort to training at West Coast Park. At this rate with this kind of attitude, let's forget about IVP cos' honestly, it won't work out.


Nevertheless Denise, Faezah and I headed over to Queensway after training to get a couple of jersey printed and at the same time, scout for the team's windbreaker and got ourselves sandals in the process. We spent a few solid hours there and I went home an extremely worn out girl but satisfied, heh.


I had work on Friday over at Shelford Road. Great party with such energetic kids, and oh! They were Japanese kids and I cannot help but smile silly everytime they speak in Japanese cos' they sound so cute! Rushed home immediately after the party because I had plans with the bunch which was the main highlight of the day.


Met Adeq about 6ish and headed over to Marina Square where we then met up with Derrick and Gal before proceeding over to Mount Emily Park. The whole plan was to just drink, hang out and chill. I have to say, the place was just perfect for a night out. Cool ambience, quiet surroundings and awesome company!



On the way there

Finally, we reached!

Just getting cozy.

Girls will be girls, eh? Huh? Okay take picture! Funny lah!

Clockwise direction: Bee, Gal.
Derrick and myself featuring Adeq's cut-off face.
Bee and Jali.
Bee, Jali and Gal.

The only group shot.

Dee, Gal, B & Adeq.

Cabbed home and the fare was sucha killer! My heart so painful can, just to think of the fare. HAHAHA. But oh wells, it was worth it in exchange of the memorable time spent with my girls and Derrick, not to mention Jali. What's next? Heeeee.


And I must add, Friday was a good day. Friday, I'm in love!


Then come Saturday (today) where it was back to work afterwhich Jurong Point, Singapore Expo and Simpang Bedok. Tomorrow I'll try to stay home the whole day and come down from my high. I need to catch up on my rest, yaw!

We've come halfway into December and in about a couple of weeks, it's already 2009! So fast aye how time flies, blink open blink, it's already a new year. I'm excited because new year means new beginnings and a time to put the past to a rest. I've always liked how we tend to reflect in the last few days of December, there's this melancholic bitter sweet taste that comes with it. The year went by so fast that I couldn't even remember the parts to it. All I can think of is that I met some really awesome people and I hope the selected few (hahaha selected few sounds so prestigious yaww!) would remain close to my heart and physically as well. Every year we go through the tough motions of life and now that the year's coming to an end, we should all be glad that we've made it this far, hee. All the more to call for celebrations, innit.

I'm so tiredzxz. It must be work. I slept so early last night - 10 30 and I was already dead to the world. I woke up even earlier today but oh well, I compensated that with afternoon naps, hah. I'm so burok when it comes to sleeping y'know but I cannot help it, it runs in the family. You should try living with us for a week or so and you'll see the pattern.


I've come to a realisation that many angmoh families love sweet thingums (okay maybe just the Brits). Yesterday I had a party and the food were all so sweeeeeeet, like overload on the sugar rush yaw. I helped myself to pasta, thinking it was the usual pasta that we were all accustomed to but lo and behold, it was sooooooo sweet that I nearly spat it out because my tastebuds got a shock of their lives but of course I didn't because the host was just beside me and that would be plain rudeness if I did. She was nice too by the way, she gave us a tip.


K and I got a free ride back to the office and it was the first I actually ventured around the office cos' I needed to pee oh-so-badly. I have to say that despite being located at a rather inappropriate area, the office is not too bad. Infact, the backyard is aweshummmmm!


Okay time to head for bed becos I've got morning training. So lecehzxz.

Supposed plan was to meet infront of my house at 8 30 in the morning but at 8 20 AM, I was still in bed when the phone beeped to Adeq's text.


She texted ... "Dee you awake?"
I replied ... "I just woke up. Where you?"
She added ... "I just woke up too. 9 30 then k."
I ended off with ... "hahahahahahhaha. okay."


Guess what? I went back to sleep after that and woke up to another text message from her. By then it was already 9 15 and that got me jumping out of bed and into the showers.


We ran from my place to Pasir Ris beach. Okay I lied. We ran, walked and strolled there, hahaha. Afterwhich we ate more than we ran, over at Downtown East. But I had fun catching up on your life, Adeq =)
And I'm happy for you on you-know-what, heh.


Oh, the night before I met G and we kinda caught up with each other lives which was nice because with all the school stuffs and constant weariness, it was refreshing to meet someone (outside the mundane routine) and just talk about the on-going(s).


Also, B called me about 1-ish last night when I was sleeping and all I could remember was that I spoke gibberish and then she told me to go back to sleep. HAHA.


If y'all must know, our friendship got high and low tides. When the low tides set in, they all disappear from my life to deal with their own things and vice versa but when the high comes in, all of them coincidentally makes contact with me (separately) at the same time. I think they got telepathy to come find me at the same time but not together because we are all busy people like that so we can only slot in one person at a time like that.


And if you three are reading this, LET'S GO ON A DATE TOGETHER SOON PRETTY PLEASE!

There are so many faces to an individual and sometimes they scare the daylights out of me. If you think you know somebody, you might be wrong. The people you thought you knew turns out to be the ones you don't really know. A surprise beyond the wildest imagination, one that shocks you and leaves you dumb-founded.


Humans are scary.


On a lighter note, Jive Fiesta's over and done with. My love goes out to the people who've made it worked and double love to those who supported us! I bet most of you people are giving a sigh of relief, isn't it, heh!


Now that holidays have kicked in, y'all can go party hard and get loose. As for me, holidays scream for lepak sessions and hibernation. My sleep debt is accumulating much, kthanksbye.

So this thing where we miss - the absence of one's presence, a pang of loneliness that sets in your heart, pushes reasoning away from your sanity and how it seeps in you, slowly, and your mind constantly fights against your heart. It's a haunting you can't rid, a hollow you can't seem to fill. Every corner turned along every corridor, a familiar face forms, except it's not real, it's just a tint of illusion.


Sometimes the mind works in the weirdest forms and most times, the nights just kills you. I've always been amazed at how my day can go so well yet I crumble apart when the sun sets in and darkness reigns. I've always dreaded coming home, there's just something about the night that scares me because maybe nights make you quit the masquerade and take off your masks, it leaves you bare-naked and vulnerable, small and powerless and everything that comes along with it. I don't like it, I'd want to be in control - of my life and my thoughts.


Note to self:

On a hiatus.
Be back soon.
Meanwhile listen to this.

I referee-ed a couple of games today and during one of the game, I got tripped by one of the players. It's funny because throughout the 1 and half year of playing rugby, I've never fell flat on my face during any of the matches and my first time as a referee, I got tripped. The fall was bad okay, you know like nangka busuk like that. I've got scratches on my left arm and shoulder hokay! Painful nak mampos. But oh wells, I had a great time referee-ing, yawww. That girl who tripped me, I think she felt guilty because Claudia overheard her saying her friend - "Oh my god, I tripped the referee" which caused Claudia to laugh out loud. Not funny lor Clauds! =(

Well anyways, we came in as plate champions. Do not be deceived by the word "champions", it meant 3rd placing by the way, hohoho. Grabbed lunch at Hougang before dropping off at Hougang Mall for a little window shopping. A couple of things caught my eye. I intend to purchase either a training bag/backpack or Adidas boots but but but my current boots are considered new so I don't think it's wise getting boots? Hmm.
Eza and I stopped by Challenger when I came across Dell Inspiron Mini 12. It made me wanna get a new laptop. Yah, yah, yah. Economy now under recession, I syiok want to get this want to get that. I talk so much, got money in the first place or not? Hah hah hah.

Okay I need to shower now because I just woke up from my 1935739107821 hours of wonderful sleep and I'm going Giant later to stock up on the junk food. My favourite hobby of all time, kthanksbye.

Burnout.
1. exhaustion: psychological exhaustion and diminished efficiency resulting from overwork or prolonged exposure to stress
reported a high rate of burnout among nurses

2. extremely exhausted person: somebody affected by psychological exhaustion (informal)

Physical Burn-out
-Feelings of intense fatigue
-Vulnerability to viral infection
-Immune breakdown

Mental Burn-out
-Feeling of lack of control over commitments
-An incorrect belief that you are accomplishing less
-A growing tendency to think negatively
-Loss of a sense of purpose and energy
-Increasing detachment from relationships that causes conflict and stress, adding to burn-out.

I find it apt that class talked about burnout. Considering the amount of time and effort I invest in my sport, it's only a matter of time that I withdraw from the activity. I feel like I'm going at a fast pace. How can I not, when IVP's coming in less than a month! My coach has slowly increased the intensity of training and makes us go for league(s) on non-training days :(

I need a break, pronto!

Today's class is a total no-brainer. I have no idea why there is even a problem on this. Sucha waste of time, no? I shouldn't have come to class, should have just stayed home and nurse my aching body, soul and mind.
I can't wait for the holidays, can't wait for holidays, can't wait for holidays, can't wait for holidays, can't wait for holidays.

I think my entries for today don't make sense.

• I should stop getting worked up
• I need entertainment, mainly a distraction
• I miss my girls
• I've been thinking of Jiwebuddy lately and I miss him
• I'm going to miss you
• I hope you stay safe wherever you are
• EAPT later in the afternoon, wish me luck
• Have no idea how I'm going to survive, really =(