You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

In actual fact you are not willing to exert yourself in any way. You have that truly 'laid back' attitude and are unwilling to extend yourself or exert undue effort. You feel that to move forward - be it in your life style or in business relationships - would require more energy output than you are prepared to give at this time. You want to take life easy and your attitude is such that 'Enough is Enough'.

Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.

You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.

Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganised. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'.

This wrenched my heart - knowing that the young, innocent and powerless are the ones being attacked, deliberately at that.

Labels: got it from Efy

I'm feeling rather optimistic right now and I want to stay this way for a little while. That would mean staying away from you, you and you because sinking back to comfort zone also means filtering out what's out there and what you don't know won't hurt you.

I was watching ANTM and Elina really gets to me - the way she is, the way her character is portrayed especially how she always likes to be in control of herself. She is afraid of letting loose and humiliating herself. In some ways, I think I can relate to her because I like to be in control too. However unlike her, I do let myself loose and ends up making a humiliation of myself. When that happens, I'd blamed myself for being so stupid and then I'll go into the whole process of getting myself together, strong-willed, and attempt to stay in control of most things. Which usually don't work out because I'll end up making a fool outta myself in some ways or another, hah.

Today I'm just going to sit in, watch my ANTM, bite on hotdogs, rot and watch time pass me by. I think I shall reserve Fridays as "special" day where I'm allowed to binge more than usual, not go for runs or commit to exercises. I've ran and worked out in the past couple of days and even cleaned the bloody house so I do deserve this mini-break especially when my period's just arrived! oh, bloody bloody dee.

okay I'm going to stop being a piglet and start being productive around the house!

tomorrow I shall head out for my run, squeeze in swimming (if I can find a partner) and clean up the bloody house. there are so many things lying around, it's so repulsive. everybody's caught up with their own mess to notice anything anyway. it's so annoying and such an act of selfishness. then again, I fall under that category too eh but but but I'm trying to do something about situations so I'm slightly better, no? hahahahahaha.

been searching for a job but to no avail. ni lah dorang kata tangan gatal pasal sekolah dah providekan internship abeh tak nak pergi sekarang kecoh-kecoh cari kerja. hmm, actually not that I can't find ah but cos it was the public holidays what, where got classifieds kan. yah, and all these online search engines so confusing lor.

oh, I bought new bras and my sister just reported to me that we might actually share the same bra size and it's amazing because she has always been known to have the bigger boobs out of the two of us. either she lost signifcant amount of weight or my boobs miraclously grew big but the latter is unlikely cos' my bra size has pretty much stayed constant lah. ah, dampening. I wanted to rejoice over the latter but I guess not.

there's something else I hope that it'll grow too and that will be my hair.
if I may add to the list, can I have leaner thighs too? hahahahahaha. this is what you call wishful thinking ah.

because there are always gonna be questions we won't have answers to and that if I were to sum life up in words, it'd be - it moves on. so this whole hoping and waiting isn't going to work out if it only leaves us in misery because fyi, the world doesn't only revolve around us and our hang-ups. so take a breather, settle your heart and go out there, and have the time of your life. I've never felt this peaceful within even though things never did end the way I wanted them to, because I know that I've figured it out.

like I've alway said, there's always a reason why certain people never make it to your future. however in this case, you're pretty much staying around for some time as a good support and well entertainment. hahahahahahaha.

okay y'all must admit that I've quite a knack with staying on good terms in failed relationships with people. (as contradicting as that may sound)

I had a nyonya cut my queue! okay it was no biggie if she politely jumped my queue because I will give in to senior folks like that but this nyonya is quite the champion because initially we (that nyonya and I) were queuing at counter B and she was infront of me. after about minutes of being stationary at the same spot, I noticed that counter A had a shorter queue so I moved over and waited for my turn lah. suddenly that nyonya came, positioned herself infront of me in the queue, babbled some things in hokkien and expected me to give way to her!

before that I had to deal with a foreign speaking worker at Mcdonalds to get my order served correctly. it was such a pain in the ass because my patience was depleting faster than the ozone layer and he had to mix my orders up, gave an extra tea when it was supposed to replace the coke and when I asked him how much more did that cost, he stood there dumb-founded and then went over to the other end to check the price on the board!

then before that, I bumped into the dumbest driver on the planet and it happens to be a guy so whoever that said girls are bad drivers are suckers because apparently guys are capable of such mistakes too! heh, sorry but I'm sucha feminist like that.

despite all that, it was a nice day - beach bar with the little one then walking all around Sentosa.

This gotta go on the list of the cannot-make-it manner to get a girl's number.

guy: hey! I've changed my phone and I think I lost your number as well.
girl: err, I've never gave you my number :\

HAHAHA okay I find it funny, I don't know why, because that's what happened to me last night.

I don't like school anymore (since when I like also right?) and I so can't wait for the 10 weeks holidays! I didn't attend class yesterday because I felt like it, hahaha. Okay lah no, I don't like the facilitator and I was tired so why not sleep in and recuperate. I kind of regretted coming in today because we have to do work, hah. And people people stop being so unoriginal, it's so repulsive!

I've resumed to eating rice but very small portions which is goooood, I think? Of course - indulging in runs too! =) Okay so hungry now. When's the break coming?

School starts at 8 30 and it ends at 9 18 in the morning. Baik eh facilitator and to think I came to school at 8 45 ish. So technically I only had 3o minutes of lessons, hahahahahahaha. If I didn't have training, I think right now I would be sleeping loh! Stupid training lah, must ruin all my plans. Hello captain, I know you're reading this and yes, thanks ah for not cancelling training. AKU MAJOK AH (hehe)!

Well anyways I met Yuwanna at CWP around 2 ish just now. It has been (insertsnumberofmonthshere) since I went out with her and boy was it kekek how we reminisced over the past. One thing never change - our loud laughter. To think of it, we were sooooo close back then and it's really heart-warming to know how she've always thought of me as her best friend despite what had happened. I've never really bothered to deal with things because I guess that's just me - I avoid. But I'm glad we met just now. It was really, really, really nice.

As a matter of fact, I'm waiting for her right now. We are going to catch the guys' game and then I'm off to training. Ah, bummer.

1. I don't know why I am so exhausted but yes I am.
2. Another five more schooling days until holidays officially kicked in, which I cannot wait because school has always been a drag, if you hadn't noticed that already. Besides I'm avoiding (insertsnamehere) and I pray my hardest that after the holidays, we emerged a better man outta it.
3. I'm looking for a week-day job, preferably flexible hours like say, starts after noon?
4. I met one third of my girly girls and I'm wondering where are the other two girls.
5. I've avoided rice for 9 days and I weighed myself this afternoon only to realise that I'm heavier than before. Ultimate disappointment, maybe I should quit eating as well and stop playing sports because I heard running can cause humongous thighs. I've got thunder thighs and it's not cool.
6. I've got pictures to upload but I'm just plain lazy.
7. I want to be thin and lanky but I love my food, how?

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Better In Time - Leona Lewis

(jyeah balls, okay or not, it'll all get better in time, yes?)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
You Give Me Something - James Morisson

(the feeling they give me aye?)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
The End Where I Begin - The Script

(start all over again?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Party Up In Here - DMX

(hahaha! yang penting mahu enjoy, yo)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
American Boy - Kanye West feat Estelle

(to be an american boy, err? maybe marry an american boy la!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Labels or Love - Fergie

(they either think I'm materialistic or live for love, huh?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Love In This Club - Usher feat Young Jeezy

(I suspect when they were younger, they met in a club)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hot & Cold - Katy Perry

(how unpredictable situations are lah)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Miss Independent - Neyo

(2+2 = Miss Independent, hah!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Tonight - FM Static

(?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Who Knew - Pink

(who would have thought right right right that I would like that person)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Crush - David Archuletta

(loads of crushing here and there ah?)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Radio - Beyonce

(HAHAHA, the last time I did this quiz for fun I got "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" and now I've got "Radio". I think I'm fated to be an object for life)


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Hell Song - Sum 41

(die lah die)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi

(see, I'm so reliable okay!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
So What - Pink

(okay, rock on)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Whatever You Like - T.I

(you can do whateverr you likeeee, because I'm dead already what)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Girl On Tv - LFO

(anchorwoman in the making, yawww)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

(aiya so sweet right, I'm y'all guardian angel, I'll protect y'all okay)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I'm Yours - The Script

(hahahaha, I must be a handful to deal with aye?)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry

(okay this just shows that I can't turn crooked)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Cruise Control - Mariah Carey

(going out of control; all time regret)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Gone So Young - Amber Pacific

(I'd like to think that I will live a long life)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Lady Marmalade - The Sally's

(err?)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Memory - Sugarcult

(I think so lah, cos memory what. Confirm got something take place that I will remember for life right, for example a wedding? HEH HEH HEH)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Sweetest Girl - Wycelf Jean

(jyeah balls, the sweetest girl - she will give me diabetes, pfft)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Right Now (Na Na Na) - Akon feat Kat De Luna

(you mean right now!?)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance

(perhaps, perhaps)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
A Piece Of Me - Britney Spears

(very true! my body's aching, my feets are sore and my heart's wrenched, how?)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
What You Got - Akon feat Colby O'donis

(YEA,this is what I got, alright)
.
.
..
..
...

Now I'm gonna tag:
- My girly girls (B, G and Adeq)
- Rahiiiiiil (I know you did for fun right, so go post it up now!)
- Denise Leok (I'd like to see your response)
- Nad

okay done!

No moderation = fucked up grades.

I'm not kidding when I say that my grades are horrigible! The least they could do, is to inform us in advance? Not the morning of a test. Wah, never mind, never mind. What's done is done. I can only make better so come next semester, I'm going to take everything seriously and attempt to scoreeee y'alll, insyallah.

My body still hasn't gotten its sufficient rest and there's training tomorrow. HAH!
I certify myself an hardcore rugby player, k dah.

Today I must tell you, is one of the greatest days in my 18 years of existence. Today, is the day where I fought hard and believed in myself. Today, is the day I saw my teammates competing with all their might, supporting each other, spurring on and not giving up. Today, is the day I'm proud to be standing and playing alongside the team. Today, is the day I have no regrets walking out of the field.

So if you've heard, we played our final game today, against NTU (again) for the 1st/2nd placing, and it was sucha close fiiiiiight. We were down to 4 - 4 when the final whistle went off which led us to a 'sudden death' -the scariest shit ever created in touch rugby, I tell you. Albeit we lost, we bagged home the most memorable moments in life. We couldn't feel anymore happier and proud of ourselves. We came such a long way, lost to NTU in the play-offs (7 - 1) and came back a stronger team, closing the margin to a mere difference (5 -4) in the finals. This is definitely history in the making because nobody thought we could make it this far. I'm so dang proud of the girls lah right now cos we fought, fought, fought hard bebeh!

I'm so happy I can't sleep!

If you were to ask me what I do in school every day, I would say servicing other people because that's what we do! Give us a problem and we will solve it for you, especially in Customer Relationship Management - the same old solution, just varying situations. And the class is so deadzxzxz -_-"

Soooo IVP updates: 3 games down and we are proceeding onto the semi-finals, meeting NUS this Thurs. It's gonna be a tougher competition but it's gonna be alright! I'm soooo tired but but but I'm still hanging on. I can't wait for us to finish what we started!

Okay I hear my tummy grumbling.

it's the second day of IVP and we were beaten down, rather badly. nonetheless we gave a tough fight and I must give myself a pat at the back because I gave my all in today's game. in fact, I shall give all my teammates a pat because likewise, they played to their best ability. the outcome was rather expected, actually.

as quoted from my coach - " I don't expect y'all to win this game BUT I want each and everyone of you to learn from this game." and she said this before our game. hah (!) talk about encouragement. but I did walked away today feeling like I've played the best game of my life! so many things I've learnt that I would put to use the next time round.




afterwards it was Mcdonalds with half of the team and I've never laughed so hard/much around them before till today. it was amidst all the laughters that I realised how much we've bonded over the past few weeks.

yes, we may have our share of ups and downs but when we start hanging out as a team, casting aside all our differences, we do have alot of fun. I want to share with you the details but we (half of the team) are saving it for Monday. I hope the plan works, girls!