Oh the horror, when I realised that my light-beige whitish pants got stained by my menstruation blood in school earlier.

Thank goodness for my extra shorts even though it was the extremely short and tight jersey shorts but desperate times call for desperate measures.

On the contrary, this unexpected arrival was just timely.
Now that I'm bleeding, it's okay to eat =)

After school spent on the grounds of Yio Chu Kang stadium, shouldering tummy cramps while having to run my ass off on the field and getting pushed down by the opponent where I fell with my ankle twisted. Ouch!

Now I'm here, nursing the bloated tummy at the comfort of my abode.
3rd brother is cleaning the room.
That reminds me, I need to wash (manually) my stained pants!

Back from the run.

Just got out of the showers actually. I feel good. Non-stop running, leg lifts, crunches and leg presses.
Running is good. It lightens your spirit. Now I feel guilty no more about binging excessively. I want to try to do this on a regular basis but we all should know by now that my middle name's lazy so we shall see.

Wonderful day, it is.

On the bus ride home, I mapped out a route of the neighbourhood at the back of my head. This is going to be the route for my run later, I thought. I placed everything into sequence: reach home by 6 30, wash up a little, set out the dining table, wait for break fast and chillax till 8 then head out for a run. Perfectly fitted, innit?

Now it's 8 04 and I'm feeling a tad too lazy. All I want to do is take a long hot shower and comatose till the next morning. Hmm, maybe not. I just told my sister that I felt like going for a run and she replied with full enthusiam, "Go. Just go!"

Now I'm kinda pumped up.

Quickie
Your alone time is about to increase -- now's your chance to go off on your own.

Overview
Try to make sure that everyone is working together -- there's plenty to do and if everyone does their part, you should find that it all goes smoothly. Your leadership can make it all come together.

.

I think it's time to slide back into my comfort zone. it's been ages since I pampered myself or spent time alone, away from the world and its habitants. I feel like borrowing a book tomorrow and shut myself away from the ugly world.
.

I had too much to eat today. I need to stop eating at this rate.
people lose weight during this holy month while I gained more than I lost.
very, very depressing
.

I adore long weekends; sleep in late, wake whenever I want to, catch up on the favourite shows and go get a breather every time I feel suffocated. I want the weekends to last long but what the heck, tomorrow starts a brand new week. nevertheless, let's survive this, babies, and rejoice on the upcoming weekends!

I've got awful scratches at the side of my butt due to the dive I made while scoring a try in my game earlier.
but count myself lucky for I managed to end the game on a good note with that clean finish.

I think I've just seen the other side to my teammates.
#1 disgusts me so much with her I-Know-It-All-Cos-I-Am-Better-Than-You aura.
#2 annoys the hell out of me with her contradictions.

I need to rough it out for a couple more weeks then halavista baby, adios amigos.

Wednesday, Newton, Fooooood & Minorities<3 = HAPPY HAPPY DEE

I need a get-away, far away from the hustle and bustle of life; ugly humanoids with half-truths and constant manipulation. I hate feeling this way; drained beyond comprehension. Even I am sick of emphasizing how shagged my soul is. Irony is, I don't know what I've been doing that tire myself out so much.

My heart conflicted while my body stood rooted to the grounds.
I'm so tempted to walk away and be a loser than roll with the punches.

okay it's probably me and my lack of sleep that's making me cranky.
WEEKENDS, COME QUICK!

the ex-boyfriend texted me at 2 in the morning, saying he was thinking about me and our past. he has a girlfriend now so I don't see why he needs to do so but I understand that it's normal because I think of our past too, sometimes. however I think we've come to this phase where we know when to pull ourselves away from the memories. there's always a reason why we never made it to each other's future so there's really no point harping on the past.

we made a date sometime soon because we haven't seen each other for the longest time. I don't know if it was inappropriate since he has a girlfriend but it's not going to be more than conversations so there's no reason that she would mind it, right? besides I made it a point to remind him that he has a girlfriend in my replies to his messages.

the thing about me; I've become friends with all of my ex-boyfriends. I like to believe that if we could start with being friends, I don't see why we couldn't end it off with being friends again. some times people might see this friendship as me being hung up over them which is usually not the case. I never had a problem until the last ex because I guess I loved him too much and it's no platonic friendship if you have feelings for each other in it.

but anyway, I'm way over him now. stop thinking otherwise.
we have our respective love interests now and I like to keep it that way :)
trust me he prolly come around again later and tell me he didn't mean whatever he said. very typical of him, really.

-edit-
as expected. I received another message from him this morning. he was sorry and he probably didn't mean half of what he said. hahaha. I can totally read him like a book. -editted-

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

"Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all."

Sometimes we’d be at the same place at exactly the same time and I can almost hear her voice. It’s like I’m touching her. I like to believe she knows I’m there. That’s all you get. That’s it. Moments with the people you love. And they’ll move on and you’ll want them to move on. But still, Meredith, that’s all you get. Moments."

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to ADEQ(!)
happy birthday to you.

hello Adeq!
I bet today's one of those days you've been waiting for your whole life because turning 18 means being able to take bike license already aye. happy, happy joy.

as I'm typing out this entry, I'm in the midst of my account management lesson and it sucks when you have a facilitator who speaks in rounds to add on a point. not only does it makes the lesson dry, you have your teammates falling asleep. sumpah aku nak shove stocking down her throat. how do you ever survive your lectures/tutorials sia?

hmm. I think at this hour you're prolly still sleeping kan OR you're at your workplace entertaining cute little monsters. go kidnap that little boy you say who is extremely cute and bring him along tomorrow! we corrupt that little boy's mind, shall we? haha. what not with the others. kita introduce him to anime porn ar! HAHAHAHA.

anyways I hope you have great fun today and stop thinking low on yourself aye. can't wait to enrol for the bike license together with you! right now I have to get back to my work. such misery!

love you plenty,
Dee darling.

P.S: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DENISE LEOK!
Bet you loved my kiss, haha.

last week RP Ping came in second for the Blacks Midnight 7s for the under 21 category. Thailand came in first, followed by us and next came Laos. pretty tough fight between Laos and us initially because we only had 5 players on the field as some of my teammates had to play for their clubs and it so happened that our games clashed. Laos, on the other hand, came on full squad. so it was 5 against 7 and boy, did Laos looked as though they were going to whack us down almost instantaneously. the scariest mere minutes of my life, ever! I've never defended so hard in a contact game before as much as I did against Laos.

losing to Thailand was of course inevitable. their girls were small, young yet feisty!
never the less it was a good experience for me, dealing against such a team for the first time, hah!

I know I look funny with my hair tied like that and my eyes are almost invisible in the second picture, but hey nobody looks perfect when they've sweat it out on the field okay.

There's this: You will always learn something new. About him. About her.
About yourself. And in learning the bad, the uncomfortable, the messy - it's
what you take away that counts. What will you do with that knowledge? Will you
leave? Pull tighter? Ignore it? Use it to fall in love even deeper? That's when
you learn more about yourself.

You aren't a bad (silly) person. You're a complex person. You're dealing
with complex people. And there's always more to know.

- Anna K (Why Girls Are Weird)

dearest Gal,

when the clock strikes 12 tonight, it'll be your eighteenth birthday and I'm picturing you in your Hello Kitty pyjamas, rambot tetap maintain and your jamban slippers walking into 7-eleven grabbing all the liquor you can get hold of and asking for Camels from the lady at the counter.

this is you trying to be a contradiction. funny how you want to spend your birthday actually and I must give you an A for amusing.

like the few other special people in my life, I must post a birthday entry on the blog because you're worth it (omg I'm so eviiil because my momma's birthday was on the 2nd Sept and I wanted to blog tapi tak ter-blog then now aku buat entry untok kao instead. if mak aku baca ini paragraph, confirm hati dia hancur and will pikir dia tak special in my life anymore)

but that's not the point. pokoknya, ni hari adalah birthday kamu and I must tell you that you're looking oh-so-gorgeous already so stop trying to be any thinner. and yes if only you were dating Nate and I was dating Chuck, we'd totally be BFFs (not that we are not anyway) and go on double dates and get sexed-up every night!
we are such suckers for that show, we are such losers! HAHA.

oh well my little girl has grown up now, hasn't she. I hope you have a wonderful birthday which I doubt so cos it's the fasting month. nak makan tak boleh, nak minom ponnn tak boleh. well unless somebody is naughty ar, go over Mas's place and end up you-know-what. *hints*

takpe Gal, think october! think second week of october!
you've been a great girlfriend, helping me make sense out of situations when I'm oh-so-stressed/peeved/pissy/whiny, and always being there as the middle-man of Gorgaz. honestly you should consider being an anchorwoman or set up your own CNA or maybe you're gossip girl!? *shocked*

okay ar aku won't rant anymore.
happy birthday baby, welcome to legal clan. it's about time anyway. see you soon okay after your exams or something. we love you very much, we as in Gorgaz. oh yah, Mas suggested bringing you to the hotel to rape you for your birthday. she added, "I bet Gal would love it!"

I think you and Mas should just marry or something since korang have deep burning desires for each other.
oh shit, then it would be incest! okay cannot!

your darling,
Dee.

I ought to know better, to never let myself drift further or sink deeper and amplify the pain. they were right from the beginning and I'm a fool for thinking otherwise. hope keeps us moving, hope destroys us too. life works like that, I guess. we should always have a balanced amount; neither too little nor too much. just like salt, our body needs salt to function but too much of it gives you high blood pressure. get the drift?

I think my point is, know your position ar people.

I have funny classmates, one asked if I am a fan of Man United just because my nick on msn happens to be morning glory. when I asked him what makes him think so, he said "glory glory usually they refer it to Man United". I don't know if I should laugh at that or what. another asked if morning glory is a vegetable or more specifically the vegetable; kangkong. now that is funny! HAHAHA.

and when the faciliatator talks too much for her own good, you have a friend offering to help lessen your torment.

Fool's Gold. says: done?
morning glory. says: nope.
morning glory. says: she's ranting on and on
morning glory. says: oh save me.
Fool's Gold. says: lol
Fool's Gold. says: i can run in and say you have an emergency at home!
morning glory. says: that'd be a great idea!
Fool's Gold. says: haha what class
morning glory. says: E65L

that was my first day back to school, how about yours?