picture, you're the queen of everything far as the eye can see under your command I will be your guardian when all is crumbling I'll steady your hand there now, steady love, so few come and don't go will you won't you, be the one I always know when I'm losing my control, the city spins around you're the only one who knows, you slow it down if I don't say this now I will surely break as I'm leaving the one I want to take forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait my heart has started to separate.

I love the Fray, their songs always always grip me by the heart.

Mixture of emotions tonight. War of the heart and the head.
And the night feels awfully quiet.

//edited
Yes yes, I am fine. It was that one-time thing where you're overwhelmed with insecurities and realizes that it really is nothing? It's just how your mind starts fucking you up. Ah yes, that. It happened this morning but I'm cool now, I gotta be cool because I just spent about 2 hours sitting alone at this god damned library. It's pretty peaceful actually.

Pirates training later!
And I'm still hungry.

Scrapped plans with the girls due to my improper time management (I swear I need to fix this!), made a few calls and we're headed for training! Rather do something productive after coaching than go home, yes? Training was a breeze; all we did was ball handling, mainly ball passing and getting the technique right. She even let us off at 8 15PM! How early is that? Very.

This may sound loser-like and everything sad but being on the field makes me happy. Prolly one of those places where I tune out misery and its company.

I'm so good at screwing myself over. I've made plans with the girls last night and I totally didn't check my schedule. I just realized I have coaching! What a bummer. I really need to do something about my forgetfulness.

Tonight I got so obsessed over P!nk, I youtubed most of her videos and wiki-ed her out. She is my inspiration HAHAHAHA. And check out the time now. 5 30 in the morning, have a good day suckers!

HAHAHAHAHA meet Siti Mary and Hah Huar.

It has always been a favorite - dismantling objects and putting the pieces back together. Maybe it is the mechanism that intrigues me or the fact that most of these objects come with a manual. So even if I fail (at putting them together), there's always the guidebook to fall back on. It feels good knowing there's at least something that I can fix. Unlike life where it doesn't come with a set of procedures to follow through, there are no manuals, just you and experience. Nobody tells you how to fix a ruined relationship or how to mend the broken pieces back together. You just have to go through the motions and learn it yourself.

I was feeling optimistic and then you came around, and bang! There goes my heart. I'm a strong believer in "out of sight, out of mind" so I don't want to know, I don't need to know. Pull yourself away, break away from it. It's easy, come on Dalinah, what are you waiting for?

Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

I made my way down for coaching earlier after painstakingly waking up at 9 in the freaking morning to clean up the kitchen. My energy level was on an all-time low cos (1) I wasn't feeling well (2) I slaved in the morning and (3) the kids were annoyingly mischievous!

Every time I raised my voice, I started coughing and I'm starting to believe W because she was telling me how she feels her voice is gonna break since we shout on an almost daily basis nowadays.

There was this boy whom I felt guilty towards because he bore the wrath of my anger. I couldn't help it, he was so annoying with his little questions and he tagged along wherever I went that I ignored most of his questions and picked on him whenever he misbehaves! Okay okay, I know it wasn't very nice of me but hey, everybody has their bad days right?

It's always easier said than done.
I don't know about you but I know I'm done talking.

Blast the stereo, roll down the windscreen, wind against the face, cigarette in hand and a reckless driver, changing the fast lanes through the night lights. I could get used to this setting.

That night I started to think about belief. Maybe it’s not even advisable to be an optimist anymore. Maybe pessimism is something we have to apply daily, like moisturizer, otherwise how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system, and love does not, as promised, conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of, or is it keeping us alive? What’s the harm in believing?

- Sex and the City

Shit happens.

Power steps were such killer just now. Minyi, Claudia and myself stood on the start-line hoping that Boo would give us a discount and not make us do the lunges but nooooo we didn't get any instead she told us to catch up with the rest. Swore my legs could have given way!

Good thing there's no training tomorrow!
Non-training days make me happehhhhh.

Okay I am cutting down on the late nights, they've taken a toll on my body. Well irregular sleeping patterns also brings about unhealthy eating diets so yes, sleep earlier = cut down on food = lose weight = happier Dee!

My tummy is no longer a reclaimed land, but it has emerged as an island on its own (inside joke) and that's depressing. The other night before I fell asleep, Sissy commented on how humongous my thighs were and I got really upset but it didn't last long for I still stuffed myself like a pig the next morning HAHAHA.

Okay I think I need new adventures.

"I didn't want to fix it, to forget. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just… something that happened. And like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time."

— Sarah Dessen

You know what I'd give to be in that position?
Pretty much everything.

I did eyebrow threading earlier and it left bumps all over the brows, it kind of scared me as it was the first I'm experiencing such thing! I also trimmed the hair, cut my fringe and I think I look weird. Second time I've tried out bangs and I've come to a conclusion that bangs and me, we can't roll together. This is also the reason why my hair can never seem to grow out cos I keep going back to the hairdresser for trims!