I have had another awesome weekend. Spent with none other than my girls and of course my other D's 21st birthday party. Think I laughed a little too much and forgot a quarter of the things that happened later in the night.

I don't get myself at times. I am surrounded by a group of lovely people and good things but I feel slightly miserable right now. It's like there's something missing. Okay I know what's missing but I refuse to say it out loud. I refuse to put myself out there and have myself disappointed even though I have this overwhelming urge to just do it.

Maybe when I have a little too much to drink and under the influence of alcohol I'll find myself the courage to disclose my heartfelt thoughts. Well until then, I am going to be miserable Dee (who is still gg to be laughing and smiling though simply cos it's so much easier faking happy)