Tonight's one of those nights where you shut yourself from the world, plug your music in and reflect upon your life. Honestly I have no clue on what to do with my life.

Here's what going on - I've expressed my thoughts on quitting my full-time job and I'm starting from scratch.

I can't do it anymore. Playing 'touch' and developing 'touch' is two separate matters, I thought since I'm playing 'touch', why can't I develop the sport as well right?

Now that I've experienced behind the scenes moments, I don't think I'm cut out for it. My life is all about 'touch' and it sickens me so much that it demotivates me to play.

I don't strive for weekend leagues no more simply because my drive and passion are slowly wearing off. Every time the opposition scores a touchdown, instead of being spurred on, I whisper secretly, "It's just another game lost.." It's no biggie, it doesn't matter.

Quite honestly, that's the lowest mindset anybody could have.
I'm terrible, and I don't deny that.